Esmeralda Took (esmereldatook) wrote in the_tooks,
Esmeralda Took

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Shire emergency

Beloved family, you may or may not have heard about the recent threat to our homeland. Having nothing better to do since I've given up alcohol I am not prepared to see this annoying twat ravage the Shire yet again. There have already been some casualties, but if we band together and fight dirty, there's no stopping us. If you give a shit want to help, Celly Brandybuck has fashioned some dwarven-style weapons for us. These should be more effective than those with which we hobbits have normally defended the Shire. Arm yourselves, Tooks!
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I'm with you aunt Esmeralda!
Pearl! ::hugs:: Until you get to Celly's, here. ::hands shotgun::
Well, aren't those Brandybucks industrious! But not smart and eldritch like my Took girls! That smart-ass Istari better watch his step now!
Hah! I think we ought to shave his head. Or put gum in his hair.
I'm so glad to see you being so industrious, my niece. Though my enchantments can't hope to come near rivaling an Istari's, they may serve to prick his foot and make him look down at a moment when he needs to be looking up. I'll see what I can do.
We're lucky to have you with us, Mirabella! Anything we can do to make Saruman's life and business miserable will serve us in the end. A prick in swine, the Shire.